I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
whose parrot is this?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
