we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
