Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
