Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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