Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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