You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
