i just wanna soil my oats bro
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
