I don't think brook has ever known best
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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