She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
