I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
