bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm having to shit out rocks
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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