and she was petting her beer can
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
