East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
