Do vagina's smell?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize