These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
