My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
