She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
