How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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