apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
