he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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