They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
