I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This is not my ceiling
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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