I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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