did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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