Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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