don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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