last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
