My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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