hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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