Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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