i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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