its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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