Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
