Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
