dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
