She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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