it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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