I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
