So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
