Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
