what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
