I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
