At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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