I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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