Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
