I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize