Ambien. No doubt about it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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