so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My ass is underappreciated
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
