This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
