Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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