but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
