Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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