playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
