My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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