god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How external is "for external use only"?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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