I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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