i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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