So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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