you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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