i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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