yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
