i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Still dying that you shit outside
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
