as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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